Blank canvas in Honor Oak - stop me from patioing it!

The fifth photo is a photo of me because it kept asking to upload five photos and I was too lazy to go back to the garden and take another one. And therein lies the problem. When I first acquired this property I had fanciful ideas of growing coconut trees and banana trees. But I soon realised that even keeping a basic lawn was too much hard work for me. I was planning to cover the space with patio and have a few large potted plants, but I received a large backlash on Facebook when I suggested that. And to be honest, it would be nice to look out my big kitchen window and see a beautiful garden. I just don't want to have to get muddy for it!